“Bippity-Boppity-boo!”, is often the words that people connect with magic. When we think of magic we think of things like Santa, the Tooth Fairy, fairy god mothers, tricks and many other things. Magic is a wonderful thing to believe in as long as you don't believe in it past your childhood. But, I don't agree. What's wrong with believing?

As a child I was all about believing in magic. I remember believing that everything was good and pure. I did not believe in bad or negative things. As a child everything was magical to me. I remember traveling with my father and seeing things I wasn't use to, I was given the chance to see the world through my parent’s eyes. It was wonderful. As long as I can remember I was obsessed with love. I was obsessed with fairy tales about princesses falling in love with their prince and having a happily ever after. I wasn’t the normal child I really believed it, my parents never showed us anything besides love. They never fought, they always seemed so happy. It was because of my parents I was in love with love.

My entire life I grew up seeing and believing in the magic of love. Then my parents split. To a child this is the end of the world; their world. My parents were my idol, as a child I had never seen someone love the way my parents did, and then they just stopped. I then stopped believing in the magic of the world. I didn't understand why this was happening. When my parents split that magic I seen as a child left me. I no longer saw the world as wonderful or delightful, but rather a mean and hurtful place. Everything I ever believed in was taken away. My world was crushed. After the split I was no longer a child, I had to grow up. My brother was now mine and mom’s responsibility. The wonderful dad I grew up to love became an absent dad. He abandons us. I guess I couldn't understand how someone could do something like that to people he loved. I felt as if I lost both parents when this happened. My mother never dealt well with pain, she never hid the way she was feeling. She started working later and later, and sending us to different babysitters.  She became an absent mom. The less time that was spent with us, the closer my brother and I became, I knew I’d always have him. I raised my brother for so long he stopped going to either one of my parents for anything, he only relied on me. The bond Nathan and I had was what kept me strong through my childhood. Not because I wanted to, but because I was never given the choice. Over the years I gave up some much of the things I loved because I wanted Nathan to have everything he ever needed or wanted.

It wasn’t until high school things truly changed for me, I found love. That love showed me a world worth believing in. I found small things magical. I started become someone; I had a desire. I randomly started to love the ocean. I loved the idea of not knowing what you could find. It was so mystical. I found a passion for wild life and the animals of this world. I found love; in all things! My high school English teacher also played a huge role in helping me grow as a person. From day one I thought she had it out for me. She was always on my case about opening up, becoming more personal with my writing; “express yourself” she would say. I found her absolutely annoying. But, then something changed, I started to meet her demands about my writing; I changed. I hadn’t ever had anyone that cared about how I felt, or cared to hear my opinion upon things until her. For her I am so thankful.  Even though I received a few heart breaks and disappointments, that light in me never went out.

For me believing in magic is something more than believing in Santa or the Tooth fairy, but it’s something that you create yourself. It’s the passion you develop for life. It’s the magic that you find within your soul. My magic is love; love for me runs deeper than finding a soul mate. Its everyday, everyday falling in love with something or someone. Maybe it’s a new CD, or song. Maybe a boy or girl. A person or a thing. It’s just finding something that gives you passion or the desire to become better; something that inspires you to live. That to me is love. That is magic to me.